Poetry & Politics

By a Fellow Veteran of the 12-Hour Circus

Let’s start with a quick anonymous survey for my fellow bedside healthcare workers — particularly CNAs and LVNs/LPNs, the real front-line infantry of healthcare.

During your last shift, how many times did you get:

• Hit
• Scratched
• Bitten
• Spit on
• Grabbed inappropriately
• Called something wildly creative that would make a truck driver blush
• Threatened with bodily harm
• Or showered with bodily fluids that definitely weren’t part of your care plan?

And just to clarify…

Was that before lunch or after?

Also, very important follow-up question:

Were those incidents from the family members, or have we not even gotten to the residents yet?

Welcome to bedside healthcare — where the job description says patient care but occasionally feels more like competitive dodgeball with medical documentation.

—

The Industry’s Worst-Kept Secret

Healthcare workers experience more workplace violence than any other profession in the United States.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, healthcare and social service workers account for over 70% of workplace violence injuries across all industries.

Let that sink in.

Seventy percent.

Apparently the most dangerous job in America isn’t logging, oil rigs, or professional bull riding.

It’s trying to help someone put on pants at 6:45 in the morning.

—

A Perfectly Normal Shift

For those who have never worked bedside, let me walk you through what a completely average shift might look like. Ml

0645 — Clock In

You arrive hopeful, hydrated, and emotionally stable.

This will change quickly.

—

0702 — Staffing Update

Three call-ins.

Your assignment has doubled.

Your charge nurse looks like someone just told her Santa Claus was arrested.

—

0715 — First Family Interaction

A family member demands to know why their mother hasn’t already been bathed, dressed, medicated, fed breakfast, and emotionally validated.

You have been on the floor for 11 minutes.

—

0730 — First Physical Assault

Resident swings at you because you tried to help them stand up.

You reflexively dodge with the agility of someone who has clearly been training for this moment for years.

Congratulations.

Your nursing reflexes are now faster than your charting speed.

—

0815 — Call Light Symphony

Every call light on the hall activates simultaneously.

Somehow the one resident who can still sprint like an Olympic athlete is the same one who insists they “cannot move at all.”

—

0830 — Bodily Fluid Roulette

You step in something warm.

Your brain immediately runs through a checklist:

• Coffee?
• Apple juice?
• Tube feed?
• Urine?
• Something that used to be pudding but is now emotionally confusing?

You choose not to ask questions.

You simply keep walking.

—

0915 — The Dementia WWE Match

A resident with dementia grabs your arm with the grip strength of a professional wrestler and calls you a communist spy.

You gently redirect.

You also quietly wonder if this person used to be a secret Olympic arm-wrestler.

—

The CNA: Healthcare’s Real MVP

If nurses are the quarterbacks of healthcare, CNAs are the offensive line.

They do the lifting.
They do the bathing.
They do the cleaning.
They do the calming.
They do the emotional labor.

And they do all of it while being paid approximately the same hourly rate as someone working at a mall kiosk selling scented candles and phone cases.

According to injury data compiled by the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, nursing assistants have some of the highest workplace injury rates in the country, largely due to patient handling injuries and workplace violence.

Yet ask a CNA why they stay and the answer is almost always the same.

“Because somebody has to take care of them.”

—

Violence That Rarely Gets Reported

Studies consistently show that 25–40% of nurses report being physically assaulted at work each year.

But anyone who has worked bedside knows the real number is probably much higher.

Because if nurses filled out an incident report every time someone tried to punch them, scratch them, spit at them, or threaten them with a bedpan…

We would spend the entire shift doing paperwork.

And the charting would still somehow be late.

—

The Emotional Whiplash of Nursing

Here’s the strange paradox of healthcare.

The same resident who tried to slap you at 8:30 AM may hold your hand at 10:00 AM and thank you for being kind.

The same family member who yelled at you at noon may hug you at 4:00 PM after their loved one stabilizes.

Healthcare workers understand something important:

Pain, fear, confusion, and grief often look like anger.

Especially in environments where people feel vulnerable or powerless.

Understanding that truth doesn’t erase the bruises.

But it does help us keep showing up.

—

Why Nurses Laugh About It

Healthcare humor is famously dark.

This isn’t because nurses are cynical.

It’s because humor is emotional body armor.

When your job involves death, grief, dementia, bodily fluids, and the occasional flying urinal — humor becomes the pressure valve.

Nurses will laugh about things that would horrify normal dinner conversations.

Like the time someone pulled their IV out and used it as a lasso.

Or the time a resident managed to hide an entire dinner roll in their brief.

Or the time someone tried to escape the unit pushing their roommate’s wheelchair… while the roommate was still in it.

We laugh because sometimes the alternative is crying in the supply closet.

And the supply closet is already occupied.

—

The Staffing Crisis Making Everything Harder

Unsafe staffing ratios amplify every problem in healthcare.

When nurses and CNAs are responsible for too many patients:

• Response times increase
• Stress rises
• Patient frustration grows
• Worker burnout skyrockets

Research from the American Nurses Foundation shows that nearly one-third of nurses report experiencing workplace violence in the previous year, and many cite short staffing as a contributing factor.

When caregivers are stretched too thin, everyone suffers.

—

Things Healthcare Workers Are Somehow Expected to Tolerate

Imagine if the following happened in literally any other workplace:

A bank teller gets punched by a customer.

A teacher is spit on.

A retail employee has feces thrown at them.

Police would be called.

Charges would be filed.

But in healthcare we often hear:

“It’s part of the job.”

No job that involves compassion should also require absorbing unlimited abuse.

—

The Truth About the People Who Stay

Despite everything — the chaos, the exhaustion, the bodily fluids, the occasional surprise karate kick — bedside nurses and CNAs keep coming back.

They come back because they believe in caring for people during the most vulnerable moments of life.

They come back because they undeǰ99⁹rstand something society often forgets:

Healthcare is not just medicine.

It’s humanity.

It’s holding someone’s hand when they’re scared.

It’s helping someone maintain dignity when their body has failed them.

It’s being present during moments most people never see.

Even when someone just tried to throw mashed potatoes at your face ten minutes earlier.

—

Final Thoughts From the Trenches

If you’re a CNA or LVN/LPN reading this after a long shift, know this:

You are doing work that most people could not do.

You show up in environments filled with grief, confusion, and fear — and you bring patience and compassion anyway.

You clean messes no one wants to talk about.

You comfort people during the hardest days of their lives.

And sometimes you do it while dodging a flying slipper.

That kind of work deserves respect.

Not abuse.

Now if you’ll excuse me, a call light has been on for 47 seconds, which according to hospital physics means someone is about to press it six more times.

Time to go chart.

Assuming the computer isn’t frozen.

Again.